let’s give that inner critic the day off.
Online therapy for perfectionists & people-pleasers
If your life had a resumé, “chameleon” would be at the top…
You’re so good at figuring out others’ needs, they’d never suspect that you have them too. If you were honest with yourself, though, you’d admit how stressful it is to live for other people, and to have to constantly morph into what you imagine they want you to be.
You’re terrified you’ll lose relationships if you speak up or say no.
Your energy is drained from giving it all to those around you, whether they’ve asked you to or not.
If you make choices that might disappoint others, you feel guilty… or selfish.
Your whole identity is about pleasing others, & you want to feel comfortable being your authentic self, but you have no idea how.
…or you’re obsessed with doing everything right, or perfectly.
You feel you can’t mess up, or take a single misstep, or the whole world will fall down around you. You might have an inkling that your standards for yourself are unrealistic, but deep down, you’re sure that anything less than absolute perfection equals total, utter failure.
You’re super hard on yourself. If you let up on yourself for one moment, others will see you for the fraud you really are. Grace? Compassion? Yeah, right.
Criticism, rejection, or disappointment feel intensely intolerable.
You feel there’s “one right way” to act, speak, or be, even if that way doesn’t feel good or align with your values.
“Shoulds” rule your life, not wants or needs.
You actively avoid situations where you might not be instantly good at something. Learning curve? Yuck.
If you’re sick of living this way, you’ve come to the right place.
How therapy works
You can learn to feel safe in who you truly are,
not just in the masks you wear.
At their heart, people-pleasing and perfectionism make sense. After all, as humans, we want to feel we belong and connect with others. And we want to do well and feel like we have control in a stressful world that often makes us feel powerless The trouble is, both of these issues can leave us feeling like resentful robots, rather than humans living messy, beautiful lives. And they often don’t reflect who we truly are at our core. Therapy with me can help you shed your unhelpful programming, live more authentically, and kick black-and-white thinking to the curb.
Therapy for perfectionism & people-pleasing can help you…
Understand where these coping mechanisms or survival modes come from.
Quiet the voices that tell you it can’t be any other way, or else…
Feel confident and grounded in your sense of self.
Lean in and listen to your gut, instinct or intuition.
Stop ruminating on others’ approval.
Maybe even to find a little grace for yourself, believe it or not!